Yeah, that’s really an incredible experience, and something I admit I didn’t live with. If anything both my parents were oversensitive. Like your article on cruelty and your observations there, this is “deeper” experience that is baffling to some, and clearly abusive to you and family. It certainly sounds like you were living the kind of father who had no empathy and thus no self realization, so not no apology ever came forth. Seeing sphincter just came back and “invade” your home by parking himself on the couch must have been terrifying for you mother. Glad you have enough time and distance to reflect on it and gain clarity. You are certainly building interesting “chapters” in your memoir.
Thanks for sharing these experiences and shedding light on what was a tough and abusive time.