Bren Kelly
2 min readFeb 6, 2021

The Conspiracy Theorist’s Conspiracy Theorist

The Last Toady Get His Stool Pulled by Fox

He was like rarified wine, like fine cheese that goes moldy, but in a good way. Finely that great Lou Dobbs has become the Late Lou Dobbs.

Full Disclaimer: No, Lou’s not dead, just taken off the air by some Steamatic voting machine company lawsuit. That one county in Michigan ruined Lou with their double counting and lousy paper trail.

He’s not fired, still under a lucrative contract, still getting the Trumper’s blessing. Lou is dead! Long Live who?

Despite him being alive, OAN Breitbart obituary is in order: Lou was a distinct man, a great conspirator. He directly communicated to the former President Trump at White House dinners (technically, “Honorable” Trump but I just can’t bear to use that term).

He plumped up Chavez as the man from death still pulling the strings. He commiserated nightly on what was called the Business Foxy Hour of Honor (though I only saw clips and couldn’t imagine what business other than the business of Trump he had).

To his last sudden gasp on the airwaves, without getting a chance to wave goodbye, he showed great style in his rantings, then he was yanked off without warning by the diabolical Murdoch. Lou remained loyal, and that loyalty cost him a gentlemanly proper media Fox Funeral of glorious clips in a two-hour prime time special with extra hugs from all his former blond anchors.

Although he still gets his salary and the enviable multi-million dollar bonus departure check, he does not get the laudable praise he deserves for his great service to our Trump.

His last words are now remembered, not as “You great leader of real Americans and working class Americans as well,” but as Oh, those two no-good Democrat-loving Moscow Mitch McCarty RINO “toadies.”

That Aussie Murdoch hacked short his long career, ultimately showing papa Murdoch clearly cares more about money than he cared Lou and Trump and America. He failed the loyalty test!

Murdoc snapped like a brittle twig when he was most needed. And for what, his network calling election machines rigged and billion dollar lawsuit that could be settled for millions, less than the price on one of his King Lear jets. Insufficient loyalty! Toadie.

Now America goes adrift again. Sleeping on MyPillow. That classless charlatan who airs an OAN two-hour infomercial special with his non-squeezable crude theories. Or sitting on the Green — Marjorie Green. Her parroted Trumpaganda nothing more then short TikTok chirps.

No, they were nothing compared to our Lou. His conspiracies were in a class above us all. He guided America, he inspired Q. Alex Jones looked like a start-up has-been, and even Tucker’s Trump-et seems like just worn out dog whistling that attracted only puppies and one-eyed chihuahuas in hindsight. Lou outclassed them all. He could really shred China with relentless precision while wearing a tux. He remained above the fray while boiling in the stew. Class!

Long Live Lou! A conspiracist’s conspiracist. Sign up for his Masterclass today using this YouTube link and save 20 percent!

Bren Kelly
Bren Kelly

Written by Bren Kelly

Engaged in Inequalities, dismantling Western Consciousness, confronting American narratives, seeking inherent injustices to address.

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